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"The kids will be going to their father's once school gets out," he told me. "I want them to be a part of our wedding and then I want us to have some time together before we get them back when school starts again in August."I readily agreed; it seemed my new groom was thinking two steps ahead of me. When we returned, the two of us sat down and had a heart-to-heart.Despite the whirlwind nature of our romance, the fact of the matter was that Kevin had been a confirmed bachelor and I was a family mom. There was a great divide between our worlds. We talked about his role as a stepfather. We discussed all the debt I was bringing to our relationship. Everything was on the table, from the hours we kept to the way we spent our money. Life isn't all passion and romance and we both wanted to love each other once the first six months of our marriage had passed.It was especially hard for me. In the back of my mind, I was busy re-formulating my 5 year plan. I didn't have to work if I didn't want. Silent and dim, save the puddle of brilliance above me, the room goes lacking. Wanting. Waiting. It is almost painfully devoid of the raw emotions, the heady and intense passion of only hours before. Our blatant impulsivity has slipped quietly unnoticed into the languid tranquility of now. Despite the paradigm shift, I realize that nothing truly tangible has changed. I am beginning to suspect that the metamorphosis is mine alone. My eyes are open now: slowly, carefully, as if to test the temperature of the mid-spring tidal waters. The heaviness of our lack of rest compels me to close them tight and blink away the last vestiges of sleep. I notice briefly before my eyelids slam shut that the venue remains unaltered. The environment is identical to the point I fell back against the delicate toile pillows and fell fast asleep, exhausted, spent, and at peace. Slightly rough white-washed walls, all still standing, surround me in sheer defiant spite of the earth-shattering orgasms my lover.
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